book of the hope

monday, july 29th, 5:54 a.m

i remember the year before i keep fretting
and thinking

what if i dont make it

and right now
all i know is that
i am uncertain
everyone else is uncertain and doubtful

and i know i cant make it

i can feel it, i can see it.

book of the sinking

i'm slipping away
like i'm hanging on a rope fingers away
into an abyss of nothingness

and i just want to seep in to oblivion

book of the blood

“Blood is thicker than water”, when used in the context of family over friends, is in fact a wildly incorrect bastardisation.

The true, full quote is “The blood of the covenant is thicker than the water of the womb,” and refers to relationships forged by choice holding deeper meaning than those of mere biology.

i've found my place, finally. love you guys. 

book of the i couldnt stop i had to do another one

i couldnt decide wether the girl would be wearing a nerd t-shirt, a sleeveless button down or a crop top so BAM i made one of the most phenomenal top everrrrr. anyway i cant tell you enough how much fun i had doing this.

girls, you will need:

- skater skirt
- either a sleeveless button down, nerd/geek varsity font t-shirt or cropped top
- creepers
- obligatory bad "ombre" job that isnt really supposed to be called an ombre considering the absence of the gradiation effect. i dont know why you even try
- smack red lipstick on your face. no need for lip liner or concealer around the lips just smack it on like you mean it

guys:

- annoying voluminous back comb hair
- short sleeved button down with the sleeves folded
- 3/4 chinos
- boat shoes

and both will need

- an overpriced professional camera you dont really know how to use
- ozzy osbourne-esque shades or wayfarers
- moleskine
- an apple product
- canvas totebag with obligatory design as annoying as: a triangle, a moustache, cosmic/galaxy print, unicorn or whatever not.

and a finishing touch: tell everyone you are really different from everyone else, head to town expecting everyone else to not coincidentally dress like you, and respond to criticism with "you don't understand, i'm being myself"

my god, amirah, you are such a dick, you're so judgemental!!

book of the dickhead (sarcasm intended if you cant detect it)

i'm sure all of you are really cool and original. i'm not saying you can't wear those annoying ass rolled button up short sleeved shirt paired with that annoying hairstyle, you can and i respect you for that (just that i think less of you)

so go out there, dress like a dickhead and convince everyone that we dont understand you and you really are a cool person!! hah.

book of the warmth

only the first week of the new term
and i have gotten
a lot of crap

like getting referral from skipping a remedial on monday which i rarely do
and then getting told that theyre going to inform my guardian about it
and then getting a lot of shit from it like my teacher now have a different impression of me now.
the second i talked to k in class he went silent and stared at us, arms folded. almost the whole class had their stares at us like as if we killed someone.

i
dont
know
what
you
want

and the crap i get the minute i get home is another thing

im
just

t i r e d

book of the one insignificant

so what day is it today? 4th of july, right?
yaaaaay independence day /claps hands/ (along with a few others)
please don't we're singaporeans. is that why you cut your hair? to commemerate this day?
nooo!!
but anyway class, please welcome your new classmate 
yaaaay (and only a few claps for me)

hah

hah

hah (my apologies, there are no other significant instances or events that i can think of)
note: that's how my p.e teacher's sense of humour goes. my fav.

to summarise my week in school. other than that.. i'm doing quite okay. but we all know things will change. or not (that is if i remain consistent, which most likely wont happen)

book of the read

I'm going to ask you to read critically, to look closely at a text and pay attention to the subtle ways the author is trying to communicate the full complexity of human experience, but I'm not asking you to go symbol hunting because reading is supposed to be some treasure map and you would discover symbols, write them down, and then get an A in class. I'm asking you to read critically because by understanding language you will;

1. Have a fuller understanding of lives other than your own, which;
2. Will help you be more empathetic, and thereby; 
3. Help you avoid getting dumped by that young woman in the first place although more importantly;
4. Reading critically and attentively can give you the linguistic tools to share your own story with more precision 

(x)

book of the lethargic

getting on the most comfortable coach 6 hours to k.l at night and arriving at 4 in the morning was something i've never done. 

and getting sharpie pens

and delicious large sized portions for ridiculously cheap prices

was

great

and i'm just 

t i r e d

sigh it's only the first monday of a new term.