there are many things i'm happy for
there are many things i could be happy for
there are many things i should be happy for
but nonetheless the ones that im content about is what that matters and maybe im just slowly working my way into making things that i should be happy about well, make me happy.
i apologize, for not writing for 2 months. but the rest of the second part of the year is beginning to take a toll on me, i think. i'm busy for the most part with work and climbing that i get so scared if i'm getting distracted. but i guess this is what i chose and i shouldnt complain.
other than that getting myself out of such a crappy mental state isnt easy and i really am, still trying. but i dont want to feel like - or rather i want others to make me stop feeling like as if this whole thing is so easy.
it isnt.
and i keep questioning myself - do i not want it as bad?
maybe this is really all in my head. maybe im not pushing my mental limits that this is the only thing that i have left of me.
