book of distra- oh look a nickel!!

i have things to do like revise my math and do my art and revise my maths but i have trouble starting and staying focused.

getting off this laptop is probably the first step.

book of insignificant joy

1. darth vader keychain to go with my stormtrooper.

2. got my hands on the iron man lego figurine (finally!!)

3. heavenly delicious marble slab, red velvet mixed with cheesecake, foodgasm.

4. water tribe insignia i asked for, by my sister. 

hari raya was good & tiring & warm but very rewarding. all in all, things turn out well. 

like earlier in school. i thought i had quite a day with people bailing out on me but then i saw lego & couldnt help myself. 

money is evil stuff. 

    

book of oh i'm tired as fuck

hari raya is barely a day away
my room is still in a mess
my clothes are not ready
i dont have shoes for it
i dont have the raya spirit
i have art exam questions to think about, dammit!!
and common tests the following week after hari raya hols


and i havent done much the whole day

and yet i'm so bloody tired. i'm mentally tired. i'm just really really tired
tired
t i r e d
t  i  i   i    i    i     i   r  e d

happy raya.

book of feelings

i remember during last year's hari raya, i rejected this person who said he and his friends wanted to visit my place for hari raya.
after that i vividly remembered getting slammed about it. people who i thought were nice began writing mean stuff online that i am pretty sure is directed to me.

but the thing is, i barely even know him. or even his friends.
and i think i dont deserve to be slammed for rejecting a bunch of people who's sole purpose of visiting isn't about the festive purposes, and for the people who i barely even know.

talk about feelings, sigh.

but on a much lighter note, the dentist earlier was okay.
except for the ulcer parts. no, definitely not the ulcer parts.

book of impression

i wear braces, i still watch cartoons, am definitely a total fan over avatar & i love reading.

but i wouldnt call myself a geek or a nerd.

i still think i havent earned it enough.

--

but anyway i'm still contemplating if i should visit the school counsellor.

"why would you want to visit her anyway?"
"because i think i should talk my problems out"
"well you have sandra, you have me"

and i went all sakdhjksgdfhjgdsa inside because it sounded so heart warming.

book of the day in the life

the ulcer looks bigger in real life ok!!

math was okay

mother tongue was not okay since i have to submit two essay reviews

my homework is not okay

my motivation is not okay

my laziness is not okay

and during form teacher period today i had to call the singapore zoo in class and it was just 

l o l

calling an organisation in class with everyone listening turned out to be more pressurising that i thought it could be. 

and my classmate said i sounded more gentle while i talk on the phone.

lol

book of sorrow

so far i'm not productive.
so far i'm as normal like being ignored or spoken to rudely.

tsk why do you have to be so rude

so far i feel depressed even though i dont have a doctor to officially diagnose i am clinically depressed
so far i'm as normal as i can get.

i should probably buy a diary and then suck at keeping and writing in it. what is it that can make me feel better?

book of confessions part 2

how am i going to help mentally unstable people when i'm not even mentally stable?
at least thats what i think i am.

something inside me tells me i should talk this out. visit a counsellor or something.
at the same time its telling me i should just keep it to myself. i chose this, why am i seeking help?

book of colours.

it started with a pack of purple hair dye.

book of fun

how i spent most of the hours in school yesterday. it was completely fun. 

anyway i never knew how hair dyeing can open up a realm of options. i guess since i've discovered you can make the colour of your hair to what you want it, it makes dyeing kind of addicting. 

so right now, within 2 months i've dyed the bottom half ends of my hair 2 times and bleached it. 

sigh. i cant wait till i graduate and have my whole hair blue. 

book of betrayal

maybe the exact same phase where all the people i trusted start turning me in will come again.
it happened in primary school, it happened every year, i dont want to go through it again.

maybe i should stop getting to attached to people.
maybe i shouldnt be so friendly.