book of the mixes

playlist of songs which i keep playing on loop since the past months (like anyone cares) but john park's falling is the only song in korean, surprising isnt it? all arent new songs and some songs repeat, just sang by a different singer or version. and i know, i couldve used 8tracks.com but i cant figure it out quite yet. it's too hipster for me to comprehend.

but anyway, something good that happened earlier:

- dr song told me i'm able to take my braces off in a few more appointments. 

- i went to the bookstore earlier. it gave me solace for a few minutes until i realised i'm too broke to buy anything. 

disappointing events that happened:

- i'm too broke to buy anymore books for the month of march.

- i went to the pool but it was closed because there was a lightning warning thing. 

- it was supposed to be my first swim in 2013. 

my day just gravitates toward it being disappointing. that is all. 

book of the -ve

(alison scarpulla)

all i am for the weekend is a mess of unfinished work from all the procrastinating and the things im unable to comprehend from this incomprehensive mind. a part of me is telling me that maybe there is something wrong with me but another tells me that i'm only telling that to myself so i can feel a lot less guilty i'm not getting any work done. 

i'm stressed out in school, i'm stressed out on weekends. i'm stressed out in school for being dumped all of these things that i'm supposed to get right, i'm stressed out on weekends because i'm taking a break. 

i dont know what is wrong.  

book of the inaccurately accurate

during civil (or citizen?) & character education aka propaganda lesson we were told to do quiz that evaluates the ideal career based on our interest & confidence of a specific skill.
i hate those things because it seems to me that i am the only student that has my interest figured out and the teachers keep probing and make us do all of these things that can apparently evaluate the 'ideal' career based on our character and abilities. sigh.
all i am now is just a mess of anxiety and uncompleted assignments and uncertainty and insecure-ness.

book of the unexpected past time

favorite piece ever in 2012's vsfs i need to tell the whole world how gorgeous this piece is. like every single thing is perfect. i mean look at how gorgeous it is. 

that's it. one of my daily intake on fashion x art that i know nuts about. i keep the whole show in my tablet and there isnt a day where i not watch all of its gorgeousness of each piece and each gorgeous woman. 

book of the retaliate

i spent my friday afternoon trying to take primary resources photos for my art prep work. and apparently things were so much easier in my head. i just wanted a side profile photo of myself. but most of the photos werent at the right angle or just wasnt the picture i pictured in my head. also i absolutely did not make a good model. 

and of all the many photos i painstakingly took myself with a shitty ass camera, only 1 turned out nearly like the one i wanted. 

other than that it'll be a long but short kind of weekend. i'm spending it by trying to complete 8 a3 sized prep work studies and studying for bloody plant reproduction test and overdue maths assignments. ah. brain cramp.

book of the weary

i dont even know how to begin how my day was.

during p.e we were literally running and sprinting throughout the whole lesson and my heart felt like it was trying to beat its way out of my chest and brain wanted to explode.

by chemistry my mind was full of fuck. my chemistry teacher cant have enough to say about how retarded the whole class is because we never seem to understand or anything.

and by next week i have to show my art teacher 8 A3 pages of coursework. he was also disappointed in the class because we seem to have no progression.

and i cant even tell you how afraid i am for the fact that i'll be taking the biggest national exam in my life so far in a few months that will determine the rest of my life.

i'm just so tired. to no words.

Book of the

I was already reading such a sad book that was stirring up all of my emotions all over the place and it didnt help for the fact that there are people who decide to be a bitch over small things.

It did not help that you say things like as if im not there, like youre openly bitching about me just so i can feel really bad about myself. But i am sure that was your intention anyway.

It did not help me just because ive been getting enough shit from adults telling me that i can never make it.

It did not help me because another one if these just makes me so tired. And believe it or not im tired of waking up everyday feeling tired.

It did not help me.
Because i dont get back up stronger. I fall deeper.

book of the book

well these arent really all the books that i own but i picked out the ones with the prettiest covers because i just feel like making a gif. 

anyway, 

i'm just really slow at reading. but!! spent most of my ~extra allowance~ on books this month and my mom cant scold me for finishing it so soon because i spent it on books. god i love you books. 

book of the thankful

1. elizah with her paws on my hands 
2. things i need to bring around wherever i go. (headset, organizer/planner, hair serum, handy dandy fan, chapstick, braces elastics & hand sanitizer)

i spent my friday well. the lessons went well and the social studies tests went okay. and my malay remedials went surprisingly well too. 

other than that i received a compliment i dont think i'd ever forget. kimberly told me that she thinks that i'm awesome because i'm not afraid to like weird things (as she points to my planner that had fanarts of adventure time, korra & the fellowship which i printed and pasted on the cover) and that i'm not afraid to flaunt it or that i'm proud of it. 

well that's not exactly what she said. but it meant a lot to me.