book of the slumber (fiction)

12:54 a.m

i should be sound asleep.
maybe with a dream or two. but i can't help thinking irrationally. it's almost comical, almost a bit too silly but i still think of it.

i should be sound asleep.
but instead thoughts of my worst fear keeps me awake.

i should be sound asleep.
but i feel, i know, as paranoia embraces me tight beneath the safety of my bedsheets.

I want to sleep this off. And i have no reason to stress over it. but I just can't seem to sleep this off.
trying, to take deep, slow, breaths as i scrawl these words into a notebook.

i should be sound asleep.
but instead i hear those voices.
"there's no point"
"she doesn't deserve this"
"i don't know how one can stand her"

4:32 a.m

i should be sound asleep.
instead i lay, numb, almost drenched in cold sweat. the moment slumber takes over, horrid thoughts find its way to wake me up.

book of to the all

thank you for being here for me, and thank you for letting me grow. i know im not the best and doing any of this but i really want you to know that im always listening, and im always grateful, even if i don't express it enough. but i always am, and always will be and i feel like i can never express enough gratitude to the people who've helped me, even in ways they don't even realise it.

everything you say, will always help me grow.