hello,
i almost feel like i'm at my breaking point. or maybe not. whenever i think about it my blood boils. i can't believe this, and i never expect such things would come from you. from what i see, i didn't even break your heart, but you did.
this is ridiculous. because i didn't think much of what we had, i even regretted it because all i felt was second best. and to think that you could do all of those things to me and not think of the consequences of those things.
we were done, but i still felt obligated to not go around telling people of what we were, that is, even if we were something. i wasn't the one to kiss and tell. because i know you have good in you, although what you did was not right.
i look back and is was nothing that i felt. i just needed comfort. but i still held back my words, because i'm not one to soil your name. or anyone's.
and yet all i hear is this.
i can't believe all of this. i talked to a lot of people about this. close friends, that is. and they all tell me that i can no longer be nice. "nice" wasn't the right word, but i bear all of this disappointment - all of this taint of name because i keep giving chances. fucking chances.
i always think that the first to forget, apologize or give in is always the better person. but i'm starting to think that i'm just this stupid and timid.
there is so much hate in me, there is so much regret in me for you. i'm sorry.
best regards,
