i cant be more annoyed or nervous when i get questions about what im going to do next. this the part of my life i have feared of elders telling me and judging me based on what i want to do for the rest of my life.
i cant answer these questions. i know the answers but i cant answer them for the uncertainty it brings. i can say "god willing, i can get into psychology" but no one listens to the first part. and i know for every effort i had put into it that it is no longer an option considering my arithmetical capabilities.
i have gotten many questions but mostly ive answered "hopefully courses under humanities & social sciences, or any science course" but in recent days questions like "do you have a vague idea of the job demands in the future" takes the cake.
but for the most part the thing that sets me off the most is when i get questions about what will i do if i cant make it. like as if i have an option to make my mom pay for the expensive fees further education costs, let alone a private one. like i have a choice. so when i answer that if there is no other choice i'll apply for ite and the adults just look at me and probably think "i cant believe she has ite as an alternative option for her" like as if its the worst thing in the world. like i had a choice.
but if it all doesnt work out as everyone else had hoped, all i know that i have tried my best in what i was good at, and especially in what i was horrible at. i have tried with everything that i had, mentally and physically. i have tried my best and i hope i keep that in mind.
